Wesley winsss! as always! :)

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! :D <3

Guess who I saw today laughing and smiling

doing work with friends?

Snowman!
I was walking past his lesson in the technology block
after asking Mr Gordon to drill a small hole for me
and I saw him with a big grin on his face surrounded by people!
So I danced up the stairs with a huuuuuge smile on my face
and lots of warmth heating up my insides.

However, now I'm thinking he was probably making a harsh
sarcastic comment about the poor quality of his co-worker's work!
and the grin was probably his self realisation at the true wittiness of his joke! Which will send him in a downward spiral, but pleasing himself in the present by making himself feel superior by pointing out everyone else's faults.

Oh how I love Snowman.

<3 <3 <3 <3

If your girlfriend's going to be hanging around our house for hours upon days

tell her to put some clothes on!

This afternoon, I realised:

Why had I been waiting for so long for my tea to cool down so I could safely drink it, when I could have just been adding cold water to the cup? Hmm? come on? why hasn't anyone shared this information with me? I haven't been drinking tea for that long, so it's not like I'm an old wise tea drinker like everyone else out there. Why does this information not come with the order of putting milk and sugar in after the hot water? Why?! why?! I shall have to ask around.

Todaaaay! Yes! 2009!

I was texting Matt whilst walking out of post 16, and I heard two orange scruffy poorly dressed girls behind me say 'snake'.
I then began listening to their conversation, and it became prominent that they were talking about my mobile phone!
'hahaha snake!'
'yeah, as if you have that phone, it's well old'
'i know, as if you do, retrovintage mate, you need to get with the fashions mate'
'haha those nokias came out in the 1930s dint theyy'
'yeah, i had that phone when i was six'

:( leave me and my beloved phone alone.

Letzes Woche

Mein jungefruende bought me some flowers!
Because I was illllllllllllulululululuh!
So today, I dried the rose petals so I can keep them for a nice long while!

Photograms!

I created some photograms today :)
We were allowed to create whatever we wanted out of the objects there were on the table outside!
I grabbed some lace, bubble wrap, a snowflake glitter piece, a sequin moon, some film! a glass dish, a plastic leaf, a feather (which works really well!) and some stupid mesh stuff that ruins everything.

I experimented with the focus of light and the intensity with the glass dish which made a nice pattern! And the bubble wrap looks nice and skeletal! alsooo, the lace is my favourite! and the movement of the leaf :)

We're doing some more tomorrow! I have found some ideas on the internet so I'll play around with those! yum yum!

I like this owl composite photogram a lot!



This idea and composition of this one is very lovely!


I like the way Alexander Rodchenko uses shadows!

Happy Easter ;)

I am eating the best thing ever!

Grated Apples and Cheese!
A little bit of onion would seal the deal, however onion isn't something to consume in the afternoon before conversing with sensual humans!

Don't be a sheep, you don't have to follow anyone anymore

you're not following anyone anymore, you're doing what you want to do.

what am i doing? i'm following someone more than i ever have done before.

well done.
hypocritical conscience.

Happy Village

\\....,.,';,';l,';,';,';,;,;,;',llllll''''

,,....,,,<<>....,.,.,,xz\zzxx

Yearbook Me? Yearbook Yourself!

Some people make their faces too big! Silly! Keep it saaaafe! Keep it in ratio!

This one is my favourite of myself. I think I look a little bit like Gail Plaitt. She's a hot piece of sausage.

Maureen rings the Zoo

One day there was a massive penguin found in Tesco at the back of the freezers and everyone was concerned for his health as the freezers contained toxic ammonia gas systems as they were older than 40 years of age. Maureen, the head Freezer monitor, whilst wearing her massive gold badge, fell over a little bit from the weight of the bling, and realized that the penguin had to be rescued by the RSPCA. The RSPCA was on hold for 3 hours due to a massive increase in hedgehog rescues this season, so Maureen thought that it was best to call the local zoo. “Hey, this is Maureen, the head monitor of the freezers at Tesco in Norwich, and I was wondering if you had misplaced a black and white penguin at any point this season?”
“Err, sorry, dunno. Let me check.” The man at the Zoo replied in an uneager manner. “Sure thing, sugar puffs” “du du du du doooo du du du du doooo” the man suspiciously sang at the other end of the line. “Are you pretending to put me on hold?” Maureen asked angrily. “Uhh noo. I was just beckoning the penguins.”
“Are they coming?”
“Uhh no. Let me get mah broom”
“OKAY! HURRY! WE HAVE AN EPILEPTIC PENGUIN HERE AND WE NEED TO SAVE HIM!”
“Uhh, okay sure.” 3 hours later, the man finally picked up the receiver and told Maureen that there was a 3 foot crocodile missing from the zoo and wondered if she had seen him crawling about at all. “YOU HAVE WASTED PRECIOUS TESCO TIME. YOU WILL BE PUNISHED” Maureen hung up in a huff. For the rest of the day, Maureen was very angry and didn’t like people to touch her.

Thankyou

I'm so angry now,
plus I have no poor internet ridden people to take the piss out of to release my anger and frustration. I guess I used to be an internet bully, and anyone who existed, I bullied. Why? I'm not even sure. It's not as if I'm insecure. I guess I just like to laugh at people. I laugh at myself more than anyone else. However, recently I've been taking life very seriously. I guess I've had to, as there is more than just me involved in my small little world right now. I've let someone else in, not fully in yet, but they'll gradually get there I hope. I hope they like it here.

Now that my time has not been focused on laughing at people, there have been some good points and bad points to the fact that I have deleted facebook.
a) I have had my head focused on other things, i.e schoolwork.
I can remember things a lot more easily
b) I have been reading a lot more
c) I am happier, more content, less jealous!
d) I feel like a real person, not just a display picture on the internet. ( I have real emotions!)

However, the bad things are:

a) I'm not being invited to things (I'm being forgotten I guess)
b) WHAT IS COOL?
c) I feel lost? I have no direction in fashion or what is cool in the current climate of the social situation.
d) I will no longer be popular!

ALTHOUGH! These bad things have their benefits. I have a lot more to say now, and I'm not scared of being who I want to be. ( I think!)

Bargain Hunt

Thanks for the lipstick

NOW GOOOO HOOOME!
I want to walk around in my lack of clothing now I'm thinner
I want to eat out my fridge now I'm ill!
I want you to get out of my house so I can pass through the hallway
I want you to stop speaking to my mother because you're altering her pronunciation of words.

LADY IN THE DOORWAY!

Style Diary

I don't understand?
I'm really grumpy right now, this is just a medium to direct my anger as I've just deleted facebook. I figured this would be a more constructive way to release my anger! (I'm hardly ever angry, however, sometimes I get angry because people use parenthesis too often)
SO FUCK YOU OPEN BRACKETSSS colon open bracket colon open bracket :(

Style Diary!
I don't understand where the style is ON STYLE DIARY!
all I see is poorly dressed people pretending to have style because they're not in fashion.
It's very rare that I have come across someone with quality, inspiring pictures.
Pictures that make me jealous.
Jealousy is something that often inspires people like me to do something.
However, I do not take it too seriously.

Style Diary!
I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW A GUY WEARING SMART TROUSERS, A SCRUFFY, not even good scruffy, T-SHIRT AND WEIRD SHOESSS AND A FREAKING TIEEEE IS STYLISH!
street style is just cringey in my opinion!
bleh!
bleh to you all!
damn right it's street style, you live on the freaking streets and get your clothes from
other people's dumpsterss? right? not even good charity shop finds.
CLOTHES PEOPLE HAVE THROWN AWAY BECAUSE THEY WOULD BE EMBARRASSED TO SEE ANYONE ELSE WEARING THEM!
I don't throw those clothes away though!
I cut them up and turn them into something more useful.
That's what they should have done!
SAVE THE PLANET YOU BITCHES.
peace out. x

Mrs Woodstock and Bertie's detour!

One Wednesday afternoon Mrs Woodstock and her favourite elephant called Bertie, were watching their favourite documentary about space and drinking large cups of tea inside her lodge-themed living room. She told her interior designer that she wanted it to be wooden and chic, however, they didn’t achieve the outcome she was hoping for. Therefore, she had to make do with what they left her with. Mrs Woodstock had just finished cleaning, and she had found her favourite candelabra, which she is planning on keeping out on standby for power cuts! After a long long documentary about space, she asked Bertie if he wanted to go and meet Barney for an afternoon stroll. Bertie said he’d love to, and offered to call him to arrange it. However, there was no answer. “There is always an answer at Barney’s house! Barney must have gone out and got lost – it’s the only explanation” Mrs Woodstock yelled whilst flailing her arms around. Bertie exclaimed, “We MUST find him!”





So off Mrs Woodstock and Bertie went, along their usual route to the park to see if they could find Barney. “I’m sure we’ll find him there! It’s inevitable” reassured Bertie. Along their journey they talked about things they loved, like Tesco and Poptarts. “I don’t understand Mrs Woodstock”
“What’s wrong Bertie?”
“Which is your favourite poptart flavour?”
“Why, it’s cookies and cream of course”
“So, why do you always buy strawberry flavoured ones? They’re so sticky, they get stuck in my ears sometimes.”
“Because they don’t sell other flavours apart from strawberry and chocolate in Tesco. Everybody knows that’s the only store I go in to buy my weekly shop”
“Yes, but I really think you should consider buying a different flavour”
“Why don’t you? You could use your pocket money to save up and buy your favourite flavour!”
“Good idea Mrs Woodstock.” Promptly, Mrs Woodstock smiled.





On the way to the park, Mrs Woodstock noticed a new passageway that she had never seen before. It enticed her, and as she walked through it, she could hear the sounds of a Celesta in the background; Bertie was humming a tune too. The temperature dropped and there was an icy gust of wind as they followed the petal filled pathway. Bertie didn’t even notice the Treeshoes.




“BOO!” shouted Escobar, “I can see you, you know?” Escobar was hiding in the strange and omnious forest.
Mrs Woodstock replied, “What!? Why are you attempting to assault me and my favourite person Bertie? Stop pretending to be a paedophile and get a job.”
“That’s a little bit harsh. I was only seeing if you wanted to play hide and seek”
“Well, we don’t, do we Bertie? No, no he said no, didn’t you hear him?” Mrs Woodstock said in a panic. “We have important business to attend to.”
“Oooh like what?”
“Erm, erm, a business meeting that doesn’t allow hedgehogs in the foyer”
“Oh right okay then, see you soon.”
“Uh…Yeah.” She half-heartedly sighed. So off Mrs Woodstock scuttled, grasping Bertie so tightly he struggled to breathe in her arms. Mrs Woodstock was so scared, she didn't know where she was anymore.



Out of the clearing, Mrs Woodstock was lead onto a beach full of enormous stones. She could see a green spec in the distance, and scuttled towards it. She saw that it was a dinosaur and let out a little screech, but after realising it was smaller than she was after scuttling a small distance further, Mrs Woodstock decided to go and ask him for directions. “Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me and my friend get to the park, we’re sort of lost”
“Hahahahaha losers, Shibbyshixxosauras, that’s my name.”
“Okay, that’s great, but how do we get out of here?”
“Oh, just turn left.”
“Really?”
“Yes of course. Why. Would. I. Lie?”
“Dunno.” Bertie added on the end, in a weird high pitched tone. Off they went again, into the ambiguous depths of the woods.



“Oi you, Twinkletits, help me” Bertie heckled.
“Heeey, don’t be rude” Sternly added Mrs Woodstock.
“Shut up you, you got us lost.”
“Sorry about that, Shibbyshixxosaurus said that this would lead us to the park, and then it starting raining glitter, and this isn’t the park, and what the hell, why is there glitter. Why?”
“Calm down dude, take a chill pill” slurred Mr Tam-pony.
“Shurrup ladyboy.” Muttered Bertie.
“I’m sorry, I’m not allowed to take anymore pills, I’ve just come out of rehab.” Boasted Mrs Woodstock.
“Try some of this shit, Bertie!”
“No thanks mate, I’m not touching that. I don’t know where it’s been.”
“Okay well enough of this, we’re in a hurry to find Barney, remember?”
“Yip” added Bertie.
“So dudes, where’d you wanna go?”
“To the PARK! I told you, douchebag”
“What’s with all the anger, calm down, take a chill pill” This caused a very stern face upon Mrs Woodstock’s face. She really wanted some pills, but couldn’t face the cold lonely nights any longer.
“Yeah so all you have to do is turn left, just do it”
“Thankyou! I hope this is the right way, we’ve been lead on so many times today, I want to find Barney!”



“She wasn’t lying then.” Muttered Bertie.
“BARNEYYYYY WHERE ARE YOU?!”
“Behind you.” said Barney, nice and calmly.
“How long have you been here?” asked Mrs Woodstock.
“Oh, just a few days.”
“Oops! What have you been doing for all of this time?”
“You know, the usual, heroin, snap, Frisbee”
“Nice one, do you want to come for a walk?”
“Sure thing, senorita-margarita,” chirped Barney.
Off they went for a lovely afternoon stroll. They talked about their shared favourite television show Frasier, kettle chips and dancing. Barney was an old family friend of Mrs Woodstock’s. He always popped round to her mother’s house unwillingly, and mostly ate all of the brie or boursin. Barney had recently been employed by Tesco as a shelf stacker, and he loved it. He worked night shifts with the polish people, and learnt a lot from it.



As they all walked back through the treeshoe wood, Barney told Mrs Woodstock and Bertie about his nightshifts at Tesco.
“Yeah so one night, we were all drinking chocolate milk behind the warehouse, and it wasn’t even our break! Some of the bread shelves aren’t even stacked! I love my work!”
Mrs Woodstock wasn’t impressed, but Bertie was. It was getting rather late and Barney couldn’t be bothered to go home, as he had to go out later that night anyway to wag some more of his work. “So I was thinking…” sighed Barney.
“Yes?” asked Mrs Woodstock.
“Can I crash at your place for a few hours?”
“Yeah sure, that’ll be fun.” They walked all the way back to Mrs Woodstock’s house and sang some of their favourite jazz classics.



They went back home, had a few cups of tea and then decided to watch the documentary again. They watched it all up until Barney had to go and do his shift. Yes, it really is that long. Mrs Woodstock made sure she had her plasters on standby – as usual. They were so engrossed in the documentary that they didn’t notice the creepy hedgehog sneak in. He stayed there all night and watched Mrs Woodstock Sleep. He noticed that he could do this every night without getting caught, so he did. And he never stopped, until the day he died- crossing the road. Mrs Woodstock was none the wiser, and had probably forgotten all about the day when she took a detour. The creepy hedgehog is probably going to haunt her and watch her sleep for the rest of her life.